Why I don’t call myself a feminist

Feminism. We knew it in 2017, and we sure as heck know it in 2018. It might be a strange thing for me, a female, to say, but I have a love-hate relationship with the term. The word has taken on a new form, and I have taken to not using it at all.

“the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.”

That is the definition in the dictionary.

I am not going to deny that there is unfairness towards women, between the pay gap, and the lack of education opportunities, among other issues. I will not say that women should not fight back, because they should.

But feminism, it just doesn’t seem like a righteous way to refer to it, and I think the word should be dropped completely.

I’ll give you an example to explain why.

A woman is about to walk into a building, and a man opens the door for her. There are two different ways the woman could react, since there are two different types of feminists. She could say thank you, and appreciate the gesture, or she could be annoyed, thinking the man must believe she is not able to open the door herself.

I refrain from thinking one or the other, and here’s why. I refuse to pay attention to the gender of the person who is opening the door for me.

Should a woman not open the door to a man? Should a woman not open the door for a woman?

The world has taken feminism and made it something that separates the sexes, instead of bringing them together.

When a woman is successful or strong, she is applauded, because she has “risen above”. And that isn’t necessarily untrue. But what about when a man is successful or strong? What happens then? They won’t be said to have “risen above”, will they? Are all men guaranteed to become successful and strong? No. So why does it have to be like this, where the men won’t get the same credit?

Take into mind that I am a woman saying this. I am not a man, trying to stand up for my own kind. I am a woman.

Maybe instead of ‘feminist’, we could say something along the lines of…….’genderist’, or ‘Equalist’?

Why can’t both men and women be sympathetic of both men and women? Men aren’t the bad guys.

Of course, stating that so bluntly gets complicated. Far more rapists are men. Far more terrorists are men. I won’t deny true things.

But I will say this confidently. There are more good people in the world that bad. More good men than bad men. More good women than bad women. So I would say that that is unfair to the millions of people who are good at heart, and the millions more who are making mistakes in our eyes, but to them, are doing the right thing.

1 out of every 6 women will experience rape or sexual assault in their life time. But 1 out of every 33 men will face the same thing. That is quite a bit more men than you would’ve thought, isn’t it?

1 out of every 10 rape victims are male.

Here is my point. If the women of the world suddenly overcame everything holding them back, and the men were the ones at the disadvantage, the ‘feminists’ would not speak up for the men. If women aren’t open to accepting men’s victories, it isn’t believing in equal rights at all. It’s believing in your rights, which is an completely different thing, though it is respectable. But I would say that it’s not only our responsibility to fight for others, but our privilege.

Men, when you were children, did your parents ever tell you not to hit a girl? Women, did a boy ever not hit you because they said they weren’t allowed?

Let me ask you this. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose of not hitting if they would not hold back if it was two boys? Would Jesus register the gender before deciding whether or not to harm someone?

Let’s stop being feminists, can we? Instead, can we believe in equality? In equal opportunities? Can we be proud of people, and not have our pride be measured by whether someone is male or female?

It’s 2018. The world is changing. Wouldn’t it be easier to change along with it?